Bullying in Kosovar Schools and Our Responsibility
By Blerta Sulhasi, MA – Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Today, 10 October, is World Mental Health Day. The World Health Organization (WHO) uses this day to raise awareness about mental health issues. This is a time for people all over the world to talk openly about and promote mental health. This is a time for us to discuss how we can improve programs that prevent and treat people’s mental health challenges. However, in our country, we still do not provide psychological services in school, even though our education system is faced with many mental health needs and barriers.
The theme for 2013 is “Mental health and older adults.” Even though this important subject does require our attention, I have chosen to focus on “Bullying in Kosovar Schools” - physically or verbally aggressive behavior, with the intent to hurt someone else. The reason for this focus comes from the recent video that went viral in Kosovo, documenting one student’s aggressive behavior towards another student. This video led to many Kosovars judging the behavior of those girls. Although, this is just one video capturing a case of bullying among our students, there are many more cases which go unnoticed and unheard of, which are not publicly discussed, and stay in the shadows.
There are many more adolescents who have to deal with this type of bullying every day or every week. They do nothing to deserve being bullied, and most cannot defend themselves. Being bullied does not end when they leave school, but it follows them home through social and other digital media. Bullying does not happen just in our schools, it is spread throughout our culture, communities, families, and social groups.
Bullying is not exclusive to Kosovo, it has also become a growing crisis in developed countries, such as in the USA. However, the difference is that here, we are missing a professional treatment approach to this issue. In our schools there are no qualified counselors to listen to bullied students, leaving students to deal with the trauma on their own, and often in silence. Furthermore, our schools do not provide any anger management or conflict resolution programs. We must also recognize that it is not only the victim who needs counseling, but the bully and all those who reinforce destructive behaviors through laughing at and filming such incidents as well.
Judging the protagonists of this video -- especially with the violent language that has been used -- does not help. Instead, we should deal with this issue at its essence. We should not just analyze what happened, but we should do something to prevent such cases from happening again. Bullying existed, even before in our society, and is not new for Kosovars. Our pretending not to listen or see has only hurt us more. Our approach has not helped our children and adolescents deal with mockery and hearing the belittling names that peers call them, and it has certainly not enabled our youth to withstand assaults.
In and near our schools, there are many adolescents who are bullied by those who have the intention to hurt. Contrary to what many have said in response to the recent video, being bullied does not make adolescents stronger. Bullying causes: suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, feelings of isolation, low self-esteem; and can cause students to miss classes, and perform poorly at school. Let us get together to discuss and take action on every bullying case that happens in our Kosovar schools daily. Let us raise awareness on our bullying problem.
As a society, we should not just blame parents for “miseducating their children,” but we should take action and discuss bullying publicly. As political leaders and principals, it is our responsibility to establish strategies and preventive programs against bullying in our schools. As community members, it is our responsibility to educate our children and adolescents, and create a safe and caring space for them for whenever they are worried; and ensure that someone will be there for them. As peers, it is our responsibility to not bully others. As a rule, let us not reinforce bullying, aggressive and derisory behaviors.
No one has a right to hurt anyone else, in any way. Physical injuries are easily seen, but emotional and mental ones are not always obvious to others – and these wounds remain much longer.
Take action, do not stay silent!
Copyright 2014 Blerta Sulhasi
Today, 10 October, is World Mental Health Day. The World Health Organization (WHO) uses this day to raise awareness about mental health issues. This is a time for people all over the world to talk openly about and promote mental health. This is a time for us to discuss how we can improve programs that prevent and treat people’s mental health challenges. However, in our country, we still do not provide psychological services in school, even though our education system is faced with many mental health needs and barriers.
The theme for 2013 is “Mental health and older adults.” Even though this important subject does require our attention, I have chosen to focus on “Bullying in Kosovar Schools” - physically or verbally aggressive behavior, with the intent to hurt someone else. The reason for this focus comes from the recent video that went viral in Kosovo, documenting one student’s aggressive behavior towards another student. This video led to many Kosovars judging the behavior of those girls. Although, this is just one video capturing a case of bullying among our students, there are many more cases which go unnoticed and unheard of, which are not publicly discussed, and stay in the shadows.
There are many more adolescents who have to deal with this type of bullying every day or every week. They do nothing to deserve being bullied, and most cannot defend themselves. Being bullied does not end when they leave school, but it follows them home through social and other digital media. Bullying does not happen just in our schools, it is spread throughout our culture, communities, families, and social groups.
Bullying is not exclusive to Kosovo, it has also become a growing crisis in developed countries, such as in the USA. However, the difference is that here, we are missing a professional treatment approach to this issue. In our schools there are no qualified counselors to listen to bullied students, leaving students to deal with the trauma on their own, and often in silence. Furthermore, our schools do not provide any anger management or conflict resolution programs. We must also recognize that it is not only the victim who needs counseling, but the bully and all those who reinforce destructive behaviors through laughing at and filming such incidents as well.
Judging the protagonists of this video -- especially with the violent language that has been used -- does not help. Instead, we should deal with this issue at its essence. We should not just analyze what happened, but we should do something to prevent such cases from happening again. Bullying existed, even before in our society, and is not new for Kosovars. Our pretending not to listen or see has only hurt us more. Our approach has not helped our children and adolescents deal with mockery and hearing the belittling names that peers call them, and it has certainly not enabled our youth to withstand assaults.
In and near our schools, there are many adolescents who are bullied by those who have the intention to hurt. Contrary to what many have said in response to the recent video, being bullied does not make adolescents stronger. Bullying causes: suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, feelings of isolation, low self-esteem; and can cause students to miss classes, and perform poorly at school. Let us get together to discuss and take action on every bullying case that happens in our Kosovar schools daily. Let us raise awareness on our bullying problem.
As a society, we should not just blame parents for “miseducating their children,” but we should take action and discuss bullying publicly. As political leaders and principals, it is our responsibility to establish strategies and preventive programs against bullying in our schools. As community members, it is our responsibility to educate our children and adolescents, and create a safe and caring space for them for whenever they are worried; and ensure that someone will be there for them. As peers, it is our responsibility to not bully others. As a rule, let us not reinforce bullying, aggressive and derisory behaviors.
No one has a right to hurt anyone else, in any way. Physical injuries are easily seen, but emotional and mental ones are not always obvious to others – and these wounds remain much longer.
Take action, do not stay silent!
Copyright 2014 Blerta Sulhasi